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Liberals sing Huckelujah by Coulter

154 Comments

Liberals
Sing ‘Huckelujah’

by Ann Coulter
(more by this
author)

Posted 12/26/2007 ET
Updated 12/26/2007 ET

 

All I want for Christmas is for Christians to listen to what Mike
Huckabee says, rather than what the media say about him. The mainstream media
keep flogging Huckabee for being a Christian, apparently unaware that this
“God” fellow is testing through the roof in focus groups.

Huckabee is a “compassionate conservative” only in the sense that
calling him a conservative is being compassionate.

He responded to my column last week — pointing out that he is on record
supporting the Supreme Court’s sodomy-is-a-constitutional-right decision — by
saying that he was relying on the word of a caller to his radio show and didn’t
know the details of the case. Ironically, that’s how most people feel about
sodomy: They support it until they hear the details.

First, I’d pay a lot of money to hear how a court opinion finding that sodomy
is a constitutional right could be made to sound reasonable. But the caller had
the right response when Huckabee asked him, “What’s your favorite radio
station?” So he seemed like a reliable source.

Second, Huckabee’s statement that he agreed with the court’s sodomy ruling was
made one week after the decision. According to Nexis, in that one week, the
sodomy decision had been the cover story on every newspaper in the country,
including The New York Times. It was the talk of all the Sunday news programs.
It had been denounced by every conservative and Christian group in America —
as well as other random groups of sane individuals having no conservative
inclinations whatsoever.

The highest court in the land had found sodomy was a constitutional right! That
sort of thing tends to make news. (I was going to say the sodomy ruling got
publicity up the wazoo, but this is, after all, Christmas week.)

So this little stretch-marked cornpone is either lying, has a closed head
injury, is a complete ignoramus — or all of the above.

Huckabee opposes school choice, earning him the coveted endorsement of the
National Education Association of New Hampshire, which is like the sheriff
being endorsed by the local whorehouse.

He is, however, in favor of school choice for kids in Mexico: They have the
choice of going to school there or here. Huckabee promoted giving in-state
tuition in Arkansas to illegal immigrants from Mexico — but not to U.S.
citizens from Ohio. “I don’t believe you punish the children,” he
said, “for the crime and sins of the parents.”

Since when is not offering someone lavish taxpayer-funded benefits a form of
punishment? That’s almost as crazy as a governor pardoning a known sex offender
so he can go out and rape and kill.

Huckabee claims he’s against punishing children for the crimes of their fathers
in the case of illegal immigrants. But in the case of slavery, he believes the
children of the children’s children should be routinely punished for the crimes
of their fathers. Huckabee has said illegal immigration gives Americans a
chance to make up for slavery. (I thought letting O.J. walk for murdering two
people was payback for slavery.)

Just two years ago, Huckabee cheerfully announced to a meeting of the Hispanic
advocacy group League of United Latin American Citizens that “Pretty soon,
Southern white guys like me may be in the minority.” Who’s writing this
guy’s speeches — Al Sharpton? (Actually, take out “Southern” and
“white,” and I agree with Huckabee’s sentiment).

He said the transition from Arkansas’ Southern traditions would “require
extraordinary efforts on both sides of the border.” But, curiously, most
of the efforts Huckabee described would come entirely from this side of the
border. Arkansas, he pledged, would celebrate diversity “in culture, in
language and in population.” He said America would have to
“accommodate” those who come here.

All that he expected from those south of the border was that they have a desire
to provide better opportunities for their families. Basically, we have to keep
accommodating everyone but U.S. citizens.

For those of you keeping score at home, this puts Huckabee just a little to the
left of Dennis Kucinich on illegal immigration and border control. The only
difference is that Kucinich supports amnesty for aliens from south of the
border and north of Saturn.

In a widely quoted remark, Huckabee denounced a Republican bill that would
merely require proof of citizenship to vote and receive government benefits as
“un-Christian, un-American, irresponsible and anti-life,” according
to the Arkansas News Bureau. Now, where have I heard this sort of thing before?
Hmmm … wait, now I remember: It was during the Democratic debates!

In his current attempt to pretend to be against illegal immigration, Huckabee
makes a meaningless joke about how the federal government should track illegals
the way Federal Express tracks packages. (Can a Mexican fit in one of those
little envelopes?)

In other words, Huckabee is going to address the problem of illegal immigration
by making jokes. It’s called leadership, folks.

Huckabee confirms for liberal TV hosts their image of conservatives as dorks by
bragging about how cool he is because he “likes music.” What’s he
doing — running for president or filling out his Facebook profile? Arkansas
former fatty loves to make jokes and play the bass guitar. Remember what
happened to the last former fatboy from Arkansas trying to be “cool”
by liking music? I’ll take “Stained Dresses” for $400, Alex.

According to Huckabee, most people think conservatives don’t like music. Who on
earth says conservatives don’t like music — other than liberals and Mike
Huckabee? This desperate need to be liked by liberals has never led to anything
but calamity.

Huckabee wants to get kids involved in music at an early age because he
believes it leads to a more balanced and developed brain. You know, as we saw
with the Jackson family. Maybe someone should tell him the Osmonds are voting
for Romney.

He supports a nationwide smoking ban anyplace where people work, constitutional
protection for sodomy, big government, higher taxes and government benefits for
illegal aliens. According to my calculations, that puts him about three
earmarks away from being Nancy Pelosi.

Liberals take a perverse pleasure in touting Huckabee because they know he will
give them everything they want — big government and a Christian they can roll.





Ann
Coulter is Legal Affairs Correspondent for HUMAN EVENTS and author of
“High
Crimes and Misdemeanors,” “Slander,”
““How
to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must),” “Godless,”
and most recently, “If
Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans.”

154 thoughts on “Liberals sing Huckelujah by Coulter”

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