{"id":648,"date":"2007-12-28T02:22:00","date_gmt":"2007-12-28T02:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.arkansasfreedom.net\/?p=648"},"modified":"2007-12-28T02:22:00","modified_gmt":"2007-12-28T02:22:00","slug":"huck-the-schmuck","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/arkansasfreedom.net\/?p=648","title":{"rendered":"HUCK THE SCHMUCK"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
\n

HUCK THE SCHMUCK<\/span><\/strong> <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n


\nby Alan Stang
\nDecember 27, 2007
\nNewsWithViews.com<\/span>
\n<\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

I had thought that by now we knew
\neverything about Mike Huckabee: the love of more and higher taxes, the
\nbetrayal of home schooling, the parole of the man who then raped and killed
\nanother woman, the attempt to bring as many illegal aliens to Arkansas as possible,
\net cetera and so on. Of course, I was horribly wrong. <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Now come revelations that penetrate
\nto the heart of the man, which he says is the fact that he is a preacher of
\nChrist, except of course that his own staff now admits he was lying when he
\nkept boasting he was the only candidate on the stage with a <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>theology
\ndegree.<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> Remember his smart aleck offer to
\nhelp Ghouliani when the moderator asked the Ghoul about his spiritual beliefs
\nin the debates? <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Because I have lived so long and
\nseen so much, I am not easy to shock. But Huckabee has done so. As you know,
\none of the main differences between him and the other man from Hope, Arkansas
\n<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u201c<\/span>
\nI can<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>t recall his name; he is the husband
\nof Hillaroid <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u201c<\/span> is the musical instrument they
\nplay. The other man plays the sexaphone (sic); Huck plays the guitar. Indeed,
\nHuck plays guitar in a group called Capitol Offense. One of the numbers they
\ndo is <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>Honky Tonk Women.<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span>
\nHere are some of the lyrics: <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen
\nin Memphis,
\nShe tried to take me upstairs for a ride.
\nShe had to heave me right across her shoulder
\n<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>Cause
\nI just can<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>t seem to drink you off my mind. <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

I laid a divorcee in New York City,
\nI had to put up some kind of a fight.
\nThe lady then she covered me with roses,
\nShe blew my nose and then she blew my mind. <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

So, what do we have here? We have a
\nman drinking to excess in a Memphis whore house to get a woman off his mind.
\nWe have an alcoholic whore trying to turn a trick. Because he is mourning the
\nloss of the first woman, the whore has to drag him upstairs to a bedroom for
\nthe purpose. Presumably, she could do so only because Friar Huck had already
\nlost those famous hundred pounds in preparation for his presidential race. No
\nnormal woman, and certainly not a gin-soaked whore, could lift a thing the
\nsize of Huckabee before. <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

The narrator thankfully survives the
\nnight of abandon. The next stanza finds him in New York. He is still
\nlamenting the loss of the unnamed lady in Memphis, because in New York
\nanother lady, a divorcee, has to struggle to bring Huck the Schmuck to her
\nbed. The lady blows his nose, which sounds disgusting and then blows his
\nmind. I shall say no more here because the verb <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>blows<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span>
\ncomes dangerously close to the area patented by the other man from Hope, the
\none whose name I can<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>t remember. <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>Honky
\nTonk Women<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> is a Mick Jagger\/Rolling Stones
\nsong. To do it justice, Huckabee<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>s Capitol Offense presumably had to
\npractice, singing these words over and over again. Excuse me? Remember we are
\nnot talking here about some difference in doctrine. We<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>re
\nnot talking about different interpretations of Original Sin. We<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>re
\ntalking about the personal behavior of a preacher, a minister of Christ. Will
\nHuck the Schmuck be performing <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>Honky Tonk Women<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span>
\nin the Huckabee White House? <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Capitol Offense appears to have a
\npenchant for professional hookers. Another number they do is <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>Devil
\nWith the Blue Dress On.<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> Here are some of the lyrics: <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>She
\nwalks real cool, catches everybody’s eye\/She’s got such good lovin’ that they
\ncan’t say goodbye.<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> There is also the immortal: <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Good golly, Miss Molly
\nYou sure like to ball
\nWhile you’re rockin’ and rollin’
\nCan’t you hear your mama call
\nFrom the early, early mornin’ ’til the early, early nights
\nSee Miss Molly rockin’ at the House of Blue Lights <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Notice that unlike every other
\nminister of Jesus I have heard of, Huck the Schmuck does not lament the fact
\nthat these women are prostitutes and try to reform them. On the contrary,
\nCapitol Offense celebrates and applauds their prostitution. Huckabee apparently
\nwill do anything to look <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>cool.<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Needless to say, the Prostitute
\nNational Press has not said a word about this. Instead, they have tried
\n(unsuccessfully) to make something of the fact that Tucker Carlson booby
\ntrapped Dr. Ron Paul into accepting a donation from a man he didn<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>t
\nknow who runs a brothel in Nevada. By the way, Dr. No plays no instrument and
\ncan<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>t carry a tune.<\/span> <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/a>
\n<\/span>Advertisement<\/span> <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

But now here comes something even
\nworse. What? Worse? Yes! In 2004, at a dinner meeting of the Republican
\nGovernors Association, Huckabee mounted the rostrum to deliver the opening
\nprayer. You would ask the only man present with a <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>theology
\ndegree<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> to do that. As the schmuck got
\nstarted, the mobile phone in his pocket rang. And an <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>embarrassed<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span>
\nGovernor Huckabee took the call. Guess who it was. <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

It was God<\/span><\/strong> <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

That<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>s right; God took
\ntime out from His manifold activities to call Friar Huck as he began his
\nremarks. Either that, or Huck was doing an impression of Bob Newhart, in
\nwhich case his impression was masterful; but I saw the video and can assure
\nyou that was not what he was doing. He was using the <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>theology
\ndegree<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> he now is lying about to drive home
\nthe <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>fact<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> that, despite
\nthe hymns to prostitution of Capitol Offense, he was the only governor the
\nCreator would call. <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

As brilliant as he was, Friar Huck
\ndid miss one trick. He should have had God call collect. Then Huck could
\nmagnanimously have accepted the charges. On the other hand, the charges from
\nHeaven to here are probably prohibitive, and everyone knows God has unlimited
\nfunds insured by FDIC, so He probably would pay for such a call Himself. Here
\nare the main things the other governors <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u201c<\/span> rotten, no-good sinners who
\ntherefore don<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>t get calls from God <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u201c<\/span>
\nheard Friar Huck say: <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

On the phone for me? How did he get
\nmy number? . . . . Yes, God? Yes, sir, I<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>m right in the middle of the
\npresident<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>s coming. . . . . You see, you say
\nyou want<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u201c<\/span>you need an autograph. Oh, for
\nSamson. . . . And, you know, God, this is a pretty big event. We<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>ve
\ngot a lot of people and I<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>ve only got a very short time here.
\nOh, you<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>ve got all the time in the world. I
\nunderstand. . . . Yes, sir, we know you don<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>t take sides in
\nthe election. But, if you did, we kind of think you<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>d
\nhang in there with us, lord, we really do. . . . <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

The transcript says there was much
\ndelighted laughter during all of this. At the end there was (CHEERING AND
\nAPPLAUSE). When I heard about it, I gasped. When I saw the video I marveled.
\nNotice that Huckabee revoltingly trivializes God. He patronizes God, reducing
\nHim to a Straight Man in a comedy act. This is not the God I know, not the
\nCreator of everything that is, not the God who spoke the world into
\nexistence. Am I wrong? Am I making more of this than it deserves? I don<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>t
\nthink so, but please let me know. <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

More proof that Huck the Schmuck
\nthinks Christianity is a joke came after the people of Arizona enacted a law
\n(Proposition 200) that denies benefits to illegal aliens. The courts upheld
\nProp 200 and a couple of Republican Senators in Arkansas proposed a similar
\nlaw there. The Arkansas law would have required proof of citizenship to vote.
\n<\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

But Huck denounced the proposal as
\n“race-baiting and demagoguery.” He said the bill <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>inflames
\nthose who are racist and bigots and makes them think there’s a real problem.
\nBut there’s not.<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> So, in Arkansas, Huck says illegal
\naliens are not a problem, even when they vote. Now, running for President, he
\nsays the reverse. <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

But here comes the kicker. Fellow
\nRepublican Senator Jim Holt, one of the bill<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>s sponsors, is
\nalso a Christian. Singling him out, Governor Schmuck said as follows: <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>I
\ndrink a different kind of Jesus juice.<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> Again we see that, in Huckabee<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>s
\nlexicon, Jesus is a joke, a Straight Man in a comedy act, a dummy sitting on
\nHuckabee<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>s knee. The Schmuck will do or say
\nanything in his lust to be <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>cool.<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> But English
\nspeakers will remember that <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>cool<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> means <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>not
\nso hot.<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

When I saw the Huck and his Straight
\nMan go through his act, I wondered. Are there really any Americans dumb
\nenough to fall for this malarkey, dumb enough to give credence to a man who
\nmakes Elmer Gantry look like John the Baptist? The answer is, yes, there are
\nmillions of them. Many of those millions belong to what they call the
\nReligious Right.<\/span>
\n<\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/a><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

This time around, despite everything
\nwe now know, Friar Huck is their choice. So I have only one question for you.
\nAre you out of your minds? Dr. Ron Paul exemplifies to the max everything you
\nsay you believe. Mike Huckabee makes Dr. No look like a glorified combination
\nof Washington, Jefferson and Henry. But you have rejected Dr. Paul in favor
\nof a blatant scumbag. <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Over and over again, you have
\nbetrayed yourselves. You did it with Bush. He ridicules you as suckers in
\nprivate; in public he says he is <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>born again.<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span>
\nApparently that is all a man need say to win your devotion. Because he is a
\nfraud, your country now is falling apart, soon to be merged out of existence
\nwith Mexico and Canada. Your freedoms are gone.<\/span> <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/a><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Your
\npreachers are not preachers. They are motivational speakers, lusting for fame
\nand the buck. They are cowards, not Christians, not the Black Regiment that
\nled the War for Independence. If they tell you to vote for the rear end of a
\nhorse, you will flock from the meeting halls to the polling places and do so,
\nlike characters in George A. Romero<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span>s classic, <\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span>Night
\nof the Living Dead.<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span> Now you are getting ready to do it
\nagain. And you will deserve everything you get when reality hits you in the
\nface.<\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c2\u00a9 2007 – Alan Stang – All Rights
\nReserved<\/span> <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Sign Up For Free E-Mail Alerts<\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/span> <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

E-Mails
\nare used strictly for NWVs alerts, not for sale<\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/div>\n

Alan Stang was
\none of Mike Wallace<\/span><\/em>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span><\/em>s original writers at Channel 13 in
\nNew York, where he wrote some of the scripts that sent Mike to CBS. Stang has
\nbeen a radio talk show host himself. In Los Angeles, he went head to head
\nnightly with Larry King, and, according to Arbitron, had almost twice as many
\nlisteners. He has been a foreign correspondent. He has written hundreds of
\nfeature magazine articles in national magazines and some fifteen books, for
\nwhich he has won many awards, including a citation from the Pennsylvania
\nHouse of Representatives for journalistic excellence. One of Stang<\/span><\/em>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span><\/em>s expos\u00c3\u00a9s stopped a criminal attempt to seize control of
\nNew Mexico, where a gang seized a court house, held a judge hostage and
\nkilled a deputy. The scheme was close to success before Stang intervened.
\nAnother Stang expos\u00c3\u00a9 inspired major reforms in federal labor legislation. <\/span><\/em><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

His first book,
\nIt<\/span><\/em>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span><\/em>s Very Simple: The True Story of
\nCivil Rights, was an instant best-seller. His first novel, The Highest
\nVirtue, set in the Russian Revolution, won smashing reviews and five stars,
\ntop rating, from the West Coast Review of Books, which gave five stars in
\nonly one per cent of its reviews. <\/span><\/em><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Stang has
\nlectured in every American state and around the world and has guested on many
\ntop shows, including CNN<\/span><\/em>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/span><\/em>s Cross Fire. Because he and his
\nwife had the most kids in Santo Domingo, the Dominican Republic, where they
\nlived at the time, the entire family was chosen to be actors in <\/span><\/em>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span><\/em>Havana,<\/span><\/em>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/span><\/em> directed by Sydney Pollack and
\nstarring Robert Redford, the most expensive movie ever made (at the time).
\nAlan Stang is the man in the ridiculous Harry Truman shirt with the
\npasted-down hair. He says they made him do it.<\/span><\/em> <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Website: AlanStang.com<\/a><\/span><\/em> <\/span><\/em><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

E-Mail: stangfeedback@gmail.com<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/span><\/em><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/div>\n

 <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n\n\n\n
<\/td>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n


\n<\/a><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

HUCK THE SCHMUCK by Alan Stang December 27, 2007 NewsWithViews.com I had thought that by now we knew everything about Mike Huckabee: the love of more and higher taxes, the betrayal of home schooling, the parole of the man who then raped and killed another woman, the attempt to bring as many illegal aliens to … Continue reading HUCK THE SCHMUCK<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-648","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-huckabee-shameful-record","category-presidential-candidates"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/arkansasfreedom.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/648","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/arkansasfreedom.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/arkansasfreedom.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arkansasfreedom.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arkansasfreedom.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=648"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/arkansasfreedom.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/648\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/arkansasfreedom.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=648"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arkansasfreedom.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=648"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arkansasfreedom.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=648"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}